A Letter To My Unborn Child

"I have a raspberry sized alien growing inside of me, but I'm about to abort the mission and send him back to the stars."

You may never understand why your papa and I decided to send you back to the sky, but if you can just listen to mama for one moment I'll try my best to explain why. 

Life on planet earth is beautiful, liberating and breathtaking.. but it is also difficult at times and it is hard to find your place in a world of chaos.  

The day I found out about you was one of the best days of my life, it was also one of the hardest. Pure joy was running through my veins faster than a shooting star in the night sky. I was overcome with gratitude knowing you had chosen us to be your parents, to introduce you to a foreign place and to raise you in a home filled with love and compassion but we were not in that current state of happiness.

Your father and I had just moved our whole life to the other side of the country and had little more than a few dollars to our names. We were struggling with everyday life and mum was slowly losing grip of reality. I become very sick and didn't leave bed often, sometimes days at a time because my body was not coping with your arrival. A few weeks had past and I wasn't getting any better, we knew the best thing for all three of us was to send you back to the stars and build up a life that we would be happy to bring you into. 

You have come into our life twice now, the first time you weren't quite ready and the second, we weren't. The hardest part of this process is that I may have held you in my belly, but you have not yet reached my arms. I hope you can forgive me for not being ready for yo and I hope you are not disheartened by our decisions. I know you will do some growing of your own out in space, as will we back down on earth and maybe then you'll decide to come back to us when you are ready, and when that does happen... we will embrace you with open arms and open hearts.

For now my sweet one, I hope to meet you in the near future and I cannot wait to hold your precious self. I'll be looking at you each night when you sparkle so effortlessly in the sky and I'll see you in my dreams. Thank-you for showing me I'm stronger than I ever thought I was and that I could still love myself even after so much pain.

I love you.