The Break Up

Heartbreak. You don't want to go through it nor do you ever want to inflict it. Sometimes it's the best thing to do and sometimes it's the necessary thing to do. We all deal with heartbreak and break up's in a different manor so this article is for all our suckers for love and babes who have been hurt, the advice is from the self proclaimed "love addict" and break up queen herself... Kate. Good luck girls, she's brutally honest and some of it you may not want to hear what she has to say.

Majority of you reading this would follow me on Instagram, some of you have been with me since that faithful day in 2009 when I downloaded the app and never looked back, but many of you wouldn’t know that I’ve had 7 relationship break ups in 9 years. What is wrong with you?! I hear you ask. Well… you wouldn’t be the first to ask this question nor will you be the last. After each break up I would find myself playing that question on repeat like a scratched up ''07 So Fresh Cd. It drove me nuts and I could never answer it honestly and believe it. Whenever my love life was bought up, I’d freak out and get defensive when my friends would make the sarcastic comment “oh so this one is the one..”. It was a trigger point for many years and it fuelled my overthinking habits and self destructive ways.

Last year a close friend of mine was in town for work so we caught up for wine and had a good chat about love and life, when he said this…  *exclaimer* you may not like his comments but he's just being honest.

“Kate, at least you have the ability to love someone for longer than one night. I will chase a girl for months and once I have this girl in my bed, suddenly the feelings I had before are fleeting and I’m no longer into it. You are so open to everyone you come across and that’s why everyone, male or female falls in love with you. You give everyone a chance and once they screw it up… that’s it.” (At least he knows he’s a bit of a dick girls…)

This conversation has stuck with me since and made me understand myself on a much deeper level. I’ve realised there is nothing wrong with me. Yes, I’ve dated guys for 3 months to 3 years and they’ve all ended in some way shape or form. Whether it was mutual or getting a text message being told to move my shit out of the house (oh the joy)… either way they’ve all taught me so much about what I want from a relationship, a partner… life, but myself as well. These relationships proved to me how strong I am and that I have the power to love over and over again no matter how burnt I get. They've also taught me to forgive others and myself for mistakes made, and to try LET GO of grudges because that's just wasting energy holding onto it.

I’m the type of personal who learns from love. I’m a Libra for goodness sake, I’m powered by Venus “the planet of love” so there’s no wonder I can’t help but love love! The major catalysts in my life have happened after a relationship break down and each one of them has taught me an important lesson that was critical for my next phase of life, I'm truly thankful for the people I've opened my heart too and for the time I've shared with these people, some of which are still a big part of my life. Now, I don’t really want to blabber on so I’ve written my top one million things to do when you’re going through a break up. It’ll be different for everyone, so take my advice with a pinch of salt or a strong bloody mary babe, YOU CAN DO IT.

THE BREAK UP GUIDE.

  1. DELETE HIS/HER NUMBER. Just do it. It’s probably imprinted on your brain anyway so there is no use having it on your phone.

  2. Talk about it, write stuff down – if you get that feeling like you want to send him/her a nasty message letting them know how hurt you are and how much they suck, DO NOT! I REPEAT! DO NOT! Write it down in your notes and leave it there. Happiness is the best revenge (I didn’t want to say this but it’s the truth.)

  3. KeepSafe App, the hide feature OR the dreaded red delete button – compile all the photos & videos you have together, chuck them in a folder in KeepSafe or click hide and forget about it. That way it’s not in your camera roll and in your face. OR even better.. you could delete them and have so much more space for new memories. 

  4. Cry, scream, punch a pillow – get it out of your system. Let the hurt consume you and then let it all out sister. You may cry for 10 days continuously then all of a sudden stop and be like okay cool so that happened. Don’t let it bubble up inside and drive you nuts, it’s the worst thing to do. It’s happened, you cant change it… move on. Wow I am so harsh.  

  5. Sweat it out babes – go boxing and picture their face on the bag, this got me through some of the hardest days of my life plus who doesn’t want to get shredded and be able to punch harder then a guy! Frank ocean, 5km’s, run. Do not stop even when you want to stop because you are crying so hard you can’t breathe, you keep on running until your legs can run no more and you’ve completed the whole run. Trust me, you’ll feel like you’ve accomplished something AND exercising releases endorphins which will make you feel better.

  6. Dark chocolate, red wine & a bath – just do it, mama Kate said so.

  7. Do all the things you love – and do them by yourself. You need to get comfortable in your own company again.

  8. TRAVEL!!! – this was my life saver. I’ve always had enough cash in my bank to be spontaneous. Find an insta hoe (sorry for the expression), see where she’s been lately, book a flight and pack a bag baby. We going to Italy!

  9. Closure – okay listen up class… it is over, done, finito... if they haven’t given you a reason then that’s their true character showing and it’s their loss at the end of the day, if they can’t man up and be honest with you then ciao darling, onto bigger and better things. Brb Italy is calling remember!

  10. LOVE YOURSELF HONEY – because chances are… they could never love you more than you can love yourself!

Kate xx

 

 

Still struggling? Can’t stop crying? Finished 3 blocks of chocolate and feel no better? Email us hello@the-lunatique.com we got you girl.